I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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