My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
