Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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