Sponge bath it is.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
