woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
