I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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