but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
