he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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