i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
