You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
BRING THE BAGELS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
