he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
