I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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