Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize