its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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