The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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