you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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