I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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