My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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