It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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