Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
