It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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