The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize