can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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