i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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