Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
