It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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