the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i need some magic done to my vagina
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
