im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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