So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
