I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The beer is more important than you right now.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
