Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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