You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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