you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
