if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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