i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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