The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize