I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
