If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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