You're my little dorito
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize