im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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