There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm passing your future prison.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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