Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize