Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
