we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
