it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
