Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
