my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
