i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize