Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
