woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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