There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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