Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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