apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She's the barista slut.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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