I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize