I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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