so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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