Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
