In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
