Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
