Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
