Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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